Idyllic homestead
I’ve had quite a few mails now from people, sympathising about my dilemma as to whether to put my little French homestead on the market. You can see how chocolate box beautiful La Chaumiere and La P’tit Maison are from the photograph. I have been wallowing in sympathy for myself and casting ‘er indoors spiteful looks, not that that makes much impression on her – she is a lot better at being stubborn than I am.
A close friend urged me to go and look at his sister’s farm in Halifax which she is soon to put on the market, as the family have got their Australian emigration papers through. He said it would suit me down to the ground. To be honest, I didn’t really fancy going. A toss up between rural France and Halifax? No contest. I have this mental picture of Halifax. The moors are desolate and bleak – I can picture consumptive Brontë’s ebbing their life away with a last hacking cough there. The scowling townships mind me of Rugby League on a wet, grisling afternoon, Webster’s Pennine Bitter and shops displaying wool, knitting patterns and dead flies in the window.
The journey to the farm did not put me in a better mood – desperately gripping my steering wheel as I dodged lorries and white van man on the M62. Then, descending and ascending through gritty townships, turning my pick-up truck through corners at impossible angles and then spewing out at a derelict mill at the bottom of the road that led to the farmstead. These were England’s dark satanic mills alright, ghosts of the long-dead workers glowering out at me through jagged broken windows with hostile intent. I could imagine the looms clattering away and the mill-hands trudging to work with shawls clasped around their shoulders, trying to hide their pinched hunger. Then, twisting up a long dirt track to what I thought would be Cold Comfort farm on a dripping, soggy, godforsaken hill.
You know when you get the feeling of having passed through a barrier? You sort of lose concentration for a minute or two, then open your eyes, blink and your surroundings look completely different.
I found myself in a beautiful valley – steep pastures with mixed woodland at the top and and an aura of graceful beauty. The grim moors were nowhere to be seen. And the house, a Grade II Georgian listed building, looked like it had been put there when Noah landed his ark. It had been very tastefully restored and even ‘er indoors would be impressed if she were to have a look around. She could even indulge herself with her predilection for bleach! Perhaps I should explain…she is banned from using bleach at La Chaumiere as the fosse septique works on organic principles. Putting bleach down the lavatory and plug holes upsets the balance of nature. Notwithstanding this, when I return from toiling in the cabbage patch, I find her with a guilty look on her face and a smell of bleach so strong that it peels your eyebrows off. I digress, I know, but these things are important to her and she would have no problem with her cleansing and scouring habits here.
Back to the house, plenty of room for my “clutter”. By that ‘er indoors refers to my period furniture, books and DVD collection and there is somewhere where I can sit peacefully and write.
It’s the outside that clinches it for me. Acres and acres of fields to keep livestock in and grow fruit and vegetables and a fair sized outbuilding and a massive barn. The pasture is sweet and there’s even a trickle of a stream that runs through.
The catch is the price, of course. It is way beyond what I had planned to spend. If I bought it, it would mean I would have to dig very deep into my meagre pension funds and continue working until I’m ninety four.
It’s got me thinking though and I’m taking ‘er indoors to see it tomorrow.
Where is it? I’m not telling you. I saw it first.
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