Heard about a fantastic wheeze the other night. (Names changed to protect the innocent).
My friend James Fearnley-Whittingstall and I dropped in at the Bells of Peover public house in Cheshire for a few schooners of sherry (James is the chap who loaned me his sheep for the book trailer footage).
We bumped into one of his cronies, Ken Grundy a jolly rubicund Yeoman Farmer type. James greeted him in his terribly posh Brian Sewell type voice with “Ken Grundy, what the f*#% are you doing here? The last time I saw you, you were preaching a sermon in church.”
Ken had obviously been enjoying plenty of liquid refreshment and he was nursing a pint and whisky chaser, holding court at the bar, buying drinks for one and all. His response to James was made through slurred words and before long he spilt his whisky chaser down his beautifully pristine silk powder-blue tie.
“Oh dear” I said “that won’t clean off easily.” Ken responded with a conspiratorial wink and a tapping of an index finger on the side of his nose.
“Not a problem, I have my own re-cycling system.”
I looked quizzically at him and he went on.
“The Dry Cleaners want to charge me a fiver for every tie that I stain. Now, what I do is give them to the charity shops instead. The charity shops must have some special deal with the cleaners as they have the ties cleaned straight away and in a day or two they are back in the shop…..and I pick ‘em up for two quid each.”
It’s good to see that the spirit of charity is alive and well at Christmas.
Hello George,
Thanks for the explanation about your nickname “Crocodile Pete”. I found the story very funny and I hope it finds its way into one of your forthcoming books!
I loved the story about the tie! Mrs Casino also found it funny even though she was the butt of a similar tale some years ago!
I used to work with a colleague who was rather fond of the odd glass and each time, it used to end in more and more trouble. Mrs C was not impressed with his boisterousness and she gradually reduced the privileges on my pass out to the point that she was able to overrule my boss and prevent me working with him any more!
I was pleased to see that the launch was a success. I have looked at the photos and was wondering if any of the book’s characters are identifiable?
Dear Tony,
As for any of the book’s characters being identifiable, a lot of them are based on yours truly. I am a sort of Alec Guiness “Kind Hearts and Coronets” type of author. There is a lot of me in the characters Tom Lawkland, Tristram Bolling (he is my ancestor of course) and Henry Clifford. The evil Eldroth character is based on a vile individual from Finance and Planning at my current employers, in fact that’s probably an insult to poor old Eldroth. The old Gasper charcater who pinched Lord Stanley’s sheep was inspired by a grumpy old chap I used to work with called Stevie G. As for the inspiration behind the ladies, well there are a few of them in the photograph of the Book Launch ……… but I am too much of a gentleman to reveal their true identity.
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